Singing Thoughts

My name is Kevin Holt and hopefully I have found a way to die before this is read. I have no idea what I am but it must have something to do with my father, whoever he is or was. I can’t be around people, I can’t lead a normal life and I can’t die. My thoughts are dangerous and I just can’t seem to control them. The first incident that I can remember, happened when I was in high school. My writing teacher said I didn’t have an imagination and the first thought that came to mind was her breaking her leg. She tripped on the chair right in front of me and ended up with a compound fracture, she almost lost her leg. How’s that for imagination. She had it easy if you ask me, I never saw her again because she had to take medical leave and school would be out by the time she returned. I started to notice bad things happening to the people around me that just couldn’t be explained. I remember this one kid bumped into me then shoved me while we were walking down the stairs, like it was my fault. He was an asshole but still, I had never seen someone’s spine come out of their neck like that. And that was the problem, that’s what I was thinking when he fell down the stairs. The poor kid died instantly.
Things started getting weirder, like on the last day of school. I loved science, but not my teacher. Before the last bell rang he decided to do a little sendoff experiment that involved some kind of flammable soap bubbles. It might have turned out alright except he had to throw my name in there saying I could never be as bright as the flaming bubbles he had created. Well, needless to say, the students were sent off traumatized. The teacher caught on fire and his head inexplicably popped like one of the bubbles and showered the student in the front of the class with little burning chunks of Mr. Chambers. I know it’s bad but I still think that was kind of funny, well now that I’ve been desensitized to all this. Things got worse when two of my friends came over. We were talking about video games on minute and the next, a blue light passed through my room and splattered them against the wall. What was left of them was comparable to what you might find in a chum bucket. When the cops came, they had scoop them up into little Jake and Erick soup baggies. That’s when the real trouble for me began.
Of course I was taken in for questioning and they put me in this little white room without windows that had a camera up in the corner. They asked some pretty stupid questions like were we playing with explosives and planned on making a bomb or something. I got bored and imagined that the roof collapsed. The roof never came down but the officers that were in there were crushed by some kind of invisible force, it was terrifying to watch at the time. I can remember every snap, crackle and pop there bones made. I freaked out and ran home crying. My mom, she was great, she wasn’t worried that I just left a police station and had blood on me, no, she wanted to know why I was crying. When I tried to tell her, a random thought entered my mind, and my mother was cut in half. I panicked and tried to imagine her whole again but it wasn’t working, I even tried to push the pieces back together. The cops kicked down my door and they were pissed, they had their guns drawn and everything. The realization that I was the cause of all this got to me and I wanted to die. When I was ordered to lay on the ground, I instead lunged at them, figuring they were trigger happy thinking I somehow had the super strength it would take to crush the officers back at the station. I heard the loud bangs as they opened fire and welcome the rounds I took to the chest, but it wasn’t what I expected. They didn’t hurt as they entered my body, I felt the pressure but there was no burning, no stinging, no holy shit I have a big ass hole in my chest kind of pain. It was more like getting hit with a stream from a dollar store water gun. They looked at me like I was the devil, one of them screamed something and ran while the others kept barking orders at me. I don’t think they knew what the hell to do. They should have run off with the other guy because none of them made it. It started with a trickle of blood coming from their mouths, then led to coughing up gallons of blood. While they were coughing, a thought entered my mind, it was the saying, to cough up a lung. It was one of the grossest things I had ever witnessed. They started gagging then began to throw up random organs it seems. How the hell can you throw up your kidneys? I just wanted out of there before I started vomiting too. When I left the house I saw the officer that ran, hiding behind his car door with only his gun exposed. I had to start singing to keep my mind occupied long enough to get away from him, he survived by the way.
It became difficult to go shopping for food while I was on the run. One poor guy at a gas station sneezed and his head exploded, all I wanted was a microwave sandwich. I figured I deserved to starve to death and stopped eating for a while, again, nothing. I didn’t feel hunger anymore but missed the taste of food. I started thinking, this not being able to die thing just might have something to it. I made my way to the Grand Canyon and got to see sights that no one else has. When I was on the top of the canyon and wanted to see something at the bottom a little closer, I jumped. It felt great, for a while it felt like jumping out of a plane without a parachute, the rush, the thrill, without a doubt it was great. Then more and more tourists would show up and it became harder and harder to avoid them. Those around me took a vacation they never came back from. I remember I must have spent a whole month climbing then jumping, climbing then jumping, trying to punish myself for all that I have done.
The singing only helped so much but it was my thoughts that can’t be controlled. My only option was to go as far away from people as possible and I did just that. I moved to northern Canada where most couldn’t handle the cold and where I had no luck in freezing to death. On my way up there, I must have been hallucinating because I swear I saw zombies running around. I couldn’t be sure because as soon as they got close my thoughts ran wild and they were dog food. I don’t know how long I’ve been up here trying to isolate myself from the world, the sun rises and sets very differently way up here. I can’t tell from my reflection either because I stopped aging somewhere in my twenties. All I know is that I’ve been here for a very long time. It’s been getting warmer around here and I’ve been noticing houses being built in the woods where I stay. I do my best to avoid them but, they just keep popping up. Just the other day, I was exploring and there, at the edge of a cliff was an entire city. People are spreading out way too far for their own good so I decided to take a stroll through town and make sure my sanctuary stays preserved.